If ya ain't creatin... ya must be hatin...
Is cheating a sickness?!
FIRST AND FOREMOST!!!
For those of you who think this is about ME---It isn't. Ya'll thought I was putting my business out there!
To my sista-friend who asked my opinion on this topic and then made moves...I luv you girl and I'm sooo proud of you for taking your power back! Keep doing you!! 
I know the title sounds crazy...but seriously, think about it. But first...my definition of cheating may not be the same as yours, so please be objective in thinking when reading this blog. These are MY thoughts!
Have you ever been with someone who really makes you believe that they are completely in love with you except for the fact that they occasionally cheat? I have so many friends, male and female, who tell me that they are torn between staying with the person they're with and accepting the fact that they cheat, and leaving the person they are otherwise totally in love with, because of the occasional cheating.
Some people believe that those who cheat are addicted to it the same way people are addicted to drugs and alcohol. They get a rush (high) from the deveiving and secrecy involved in cheating. They know the consequences but they either believe they won't get caught, or that they'll just deal with them when they come.
On the other hand, others believe that cheating is merely a mixture of selfishness and lack of self-control. A cheater only does it for one of two reasons, he wants to and doesn't care about the consequences or he does it because the opportunity is there and he feels bad later.
After thinking about this for a long time, I believe that both possibilities are understandable. I've decided that it doesn't matter if a cheater is "sick" or if they just do it because they can. Either way its wrong.
With everything in this world that we run the risk of dying from, why is it that so many of us (African Americans) are dying from AIDS? This is the one disease we have almost total control of preventing ourselves from contracting, yet because of the lack of education about sex and the lack of respect taught to be given between black men and women today, we increase our chances of contraction more than any other nationality.
Sickness or not...If you cheat its wrong. If your sick, get professional help. There are many qualified therapists who specialize in helping people who can't stop cheating.
If you don't care about the results of your actions because you are selfish...remain single. Understand that hurting someone purposely, may have its momentary pleasure. But trust me...a person can only take so much before being pushed to the edge.
If your being cheated on~stop making excuses. I KNOW its hard. Hardship and difficulty is necessary. We have to go through pain in order to appreciate beauty. Why do you think God made pregancy so uncomfortable and childbirth so painful. If women didn't go through so much to have their children, they wouldn't appreciate them to the extent that they do and love them so deeply. It makes us who we are. But making excuses for the person or for why you remain in the situation only makes it worse. It just tells the cheater, your family, friends, children, and whoever else that you don't need to be respected.No one deserves to feel like they are good enough to make someone completely happy. That just isn't true about anyone. There is something about everyone that is capable of being adored.
When some one cheats on you its just a total lack of respect. PERIOD. STOP ACCEPTING IT! NO MORE EXCUSES! SICKNESS OR NOT...ITS WRONG.
Good Luck to all of my friends and family who are questioning this and who have come and confided and debated this with me!
For those of you who think this is about ME---It isn't. Ya'll thought I was putting my business out there!
To my sista-friend who asked my opinion on this topic and then made moves...I luv you girl and I'm sooo proud of you for taking your power back! Keep doing you!! I know the title sounds crazy...but seriously, think about it. But first...my definition of cheating may not be the same as yours, so please be objective in thinking when reading this blog. These are MY thoughts!
Have you ever been with someone who really makes you believe that they are completely in love with you except for the fact that they occasionally cheat? I have so many friends, male and female, who tell me that they are torn between staying with the person they're with and accepting the fact that they cheat, and leaving the person they are otherwise totally in love with, because of the occasional cheating.
Some people believe that those who cheat are addicted to it the same way people are addicted to drugs and alcohol. They get a rush (high) from the deveiving and secrecy involved in cheating. They know the consequences but they either believe they won't get caught, or that they'll just deal with them when they come.
On the other hand, others believe that cheating is merely a mixture of selfishness and lack of self-control. A cheater only does it for one of two reasons, he wants to and doesn't care about the consequences or he does it because the opportunity is there and he feels bad later.
After thinking about this for a long time, I believe that both possibilities are understandable. I've decided that it doesn't matter if a cheater is "sick" or if they just do it because they can. Either way its wrong.
With everything in this world that we run the risk of dying from, why is it that so many of us (African Americans) are dying from AIDS? This is the one disease we have almost total control of preventing ourselves from contracting, yet because of the lack of education about sex and the lack of respect taught to be given between black men and women today, we increase our chances of contraction more than any other nationality.
Sickness or not...If you cheat its wrong. If your sick, get professional help. There are many qualified therapists who specialize in helping people who can't stop cheating.
If you don't care about the results of your actions because you are selfish...remain single. Understand that hurting someone purposely, may have its momentary pleasure. But trust me...a person can only take so much before being pushed to the edge.
If your being cheated on~stop making excuses. I KNOW its hard. Hardship and difficulty is necessary. We have to go through pain in order to appreciate beauty. Why do you think God made pregancy so uncomfortable and childbirth so painful. If women didn't go through so much to have their children, they wouldn't appreciate them to the extent that they do and love them so deeply. It makes us who we are. But making excuses for the person or for why you remain in the situation only makes it worse. It just tells the cheater, your family, friends, children, and whoever else that you don't need to be respected.No one deserves to feel like they are good enough to make someone completely happy. That just isn't true about anyone. There is something about everyone that is capable of being adored.
When some one cheats on you its just a total lack of respect. PERIOD. STOP ACCEPTING IT! NO MORE EXCUSES! SICKNESS OR NOT...ITS WRONG.
Good Luck to all of my friends and family who are questioning this and who have come and confided and debated this with me!
Comment
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Comment by Stricbiz on September 3, 2008 at 9:33am -
Born, no one could have put it better than that homeboy. Just to reiterate, men are very simple. Lay him down when he is standing up, cook for him, don't nag him, and keep it sexy for him. Never get to relaxed.
Woman just like to know thier words don't go unheard. They want to hear how beautiful they are. If you are not telling them, you are telling someone else. Spend some private time and cater to her. They really do work harder than we do for the most part.
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Comment by sexxxy shanta28 on August 3, 2008 at 11:51am - i think it's an addiction/sickness but i believe when u find that special someone he's the only one that can make u stop maybe not dead in ur tracks but adventually over time it's very possible
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Comment by Mykall D. Snake on July 28, 2008 at 9:52pm -
Yall both made some valid points. Hopefully, some loser will get some benefit from it.
I always say...
It ain't cheatin unless you get caught!
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Comment by DJ Born U on July 27, 2008 at 5:22pm -
Wow! Why I gotta be the first one to to reply to this Blog? (LMAO)
Ok here's my view and perception on it. I will speak in general 1st then I will speak from experience 2nd.
Is Cheating a Sickness? Great Question and Hopefully alot of people reply to this... Now you did go into your definition of "Cheating" but what about "Sickness". There are good degrees of sickness and bad degrees of sickness. But I am gonna assume your speaking of the bad degree of sickness.. (lol)
Now according to the dictionary cheating: Is an act of lying, deception, or fraud to create an unfair advantage in one's own interest.
So that basically says Cheating is unfair, But its only unfair to the Person thats being cheated when they find out they been had. However as Human Beings we all use some form of deception to allude people to us. Its only natural, as being a human being. Now of course no one wants to be cheated or cheated on when it comes to anything. So if cheating is a problem that affects us we need to actually devise an equation to solve the problem. I don't think its the sickness we need to focus on its the CURE to the sickness we need to focus on.
And the formula is this: HOW CAN WE PREVENT OURSELVES FROM BEING CHEATED ON? or Cheating others?
I no this sounds cliche but "Communication is the Key" not only that ACTION ON that communication is the Key. You see people can converse all day about shhht and do nothing. But Real talk comes down to Real action. Women when men tell you he want something you need to give it to him A.S.A.P. or find out a way to get it to him. Same thing with Men we need to start showing these women that we mean what we say and put forth action on it. LADIES you need to realize that Men only want a REAL GOOD FCUKIN, A Well PREPARED Dinner, and You to Shut the Fcuk Up sometimes with that Annoying as Nagging. LADIES NAGGIN IS NOT COMMUNICATION THAT SHHT IS FRUSTRATION! If you can do that I Guarantee that Man AINT going no where. REASON why is he will be to tired and full to wanna hang out with the fellas. (DING)
Now Fellas LISTEN: All women want is to be ACKNOWLEDGED! We have to remember they are women for reasons so thats why We as men NEED to cater to those womanly EMOTIONS. Its not the big things you do that turns women on its the SMALL things that turns them on. Now how small thats another Blog somewhere else, but be CREATIVE and put forth the thought in what you do. Something so silly as leaving a note it her jacket can make her day, It may sound Corny to us as men but thats generally what it is. Having a nice well PREPARED dinner works wonders for her, bath water ran for her when she come home from work, provided with a nice Massage. And no Sex!!! Its not always about us. And fellas if you REALLY wann be the man PAY all the bils..(At least 1 Time) LMAO!!!
Reason why all this works is because she wanna be Acknowledged, and not have to see the shht on Soap Operas & Lifetime to not wanna have to fantasize about it enough to make her wanna go out and EXPLORE another mans agenda! (DING)
Now if you notice it took more words to describe a womans worth than a mans worth. And thats just what I am talking about!
(That Was Easy)
Born U - And no I am NOT PERFECT neither...
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